Quiz: Should You Do the Reading For Class?

QUIZ: Should you do the reading for class? 

1.How can I best gain knowledge from this class? 

a. DO THE READING  b. Don’t do the reading.

2. How will I make the time go by quicker in class? 

a. DO THE READING  b. Don’t do the reading.

3.How will I not take for granted the privilege I have of being in graduate school? 

a. DO THE READING  b. Don’t do the reading.

4. How can I not waste everyone else’s time? 

a. DO THE READING  b. Don’t do the reading.

5. How will I impress the faculty with my enthusiasm and openness to learning? 

a. DO THE READING  b. Don’t do the reading.

If you got mostly a’s, great! You seem to enjoy being in grad school, this thing you signed up for and no one is forcing you to do, in fact, literally doing anything else would be more profitable in the long run.

If you got mostly b’s, please go fuck yourself.

Also? Everyone knows when you don’t do the reading, and it’s not a cute look.

 Signs you didn’t do the reading: 

You burst into the class before the faculty arrives and tells everyone triumphantly, “I didn’t do the reading” 

Say “that reminds me of a book/movie/tv show” and proceed to tell the class the plot. 

Respond to someone else’s comment with “that’s an interesting question.” 

Have the reading out with you in class and skim for a really good quote and read that out loud to the class.  

Your PUBLIC facebook profile has mentioned that you binged watched the new season of Jessica Jones the two days prior. 

 Bring up a personal anecdote from your life that is marginally related to the topic. 

Wikipedia the author on your phone and question their credentials.  

Use buzzwords. Extra credit for turning a theorist into an adjective: Marxist, Foucavian, Hallist.

Peek at your neighbors’ notes, see what they highlighted in their readings, go up to that reading, raise your hand and say, “I found the following passage particularly fascinating…” [This happened. A lot.]

When the professor actually calls you out on not doing the reading, tell all future students not to take her class because she is a bitch. [This happened. A lot.]


WORKS CITED:

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All content reflects my individual views and is not associated with any university, department, faculty, or students. Names and situations mentioned have been changed.