What your advisor's non-response means
You’ve written your advisor a question. They don’t answer. As time passes by, this is what it means:
Five minutes: They hate you. You’re an imposter. How can they live with the disgust that you are their advisee?
Six hours: They are trying to think of a good answer to your question, because it was so thoughtful and complex, it doesn’t deserve a quick answer. What a scholar you are.
24 hours later: They may be in peril. Perhaps collapsed in their home.
Three days later: Well, you should start changing your name and leave the state. You can’t bear the embarrassment of having such asked a stupid question.
Four days: What? who? You can’t even remember asking it.
Five days: you have trashed your entire dissertation, because your idea was terrible. You’ve even erased it from the cloud, under the fear that you may die accidentally and someone will see such awful embarrassing research.
Six Days: What? They reply that they were on a research trip with no internet? No problem. Also, wow what a great question, thanks for asking.
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What to look forward to:
Academia shenanigans
More Showgirls, the novelization
Recommendations of culture to consume at home
Various recaps
Possibly some fiction…?